Latest Tweets:

carryonmy-assbutt:

rose-for-a-tenner:

carryonmy-assbutt:

guys what do hostages do if they have to pee really badly

like do the bad guys let you have toilet breaks or escort you to the loo

My cousin was held for 36 hours by the Gulf cartel. He said they were pretty chill about bathroom breaks.

I want more to that story

(via princess-teepteep)

ofools:

lumpenspaceproletariat:

dearnonacepeople:

knight-of-antioch:

If you’re Christian I hope you don’t believe asexuality exists because you are implying you and/or others are immune from sinful lust, which is applying divine properties to humans and therefore defying crucial theological principles.

It’s just in asexuals actually have divine properties 

lmao oh my goodness

finally the recognition i deserve, the godly kind

(Source: , via wizardbird)

xombiedirge:

Luigi by Beto Garza / Tumblr

xombiedirge:

Luigi by Beto Garza / Tumblr

biowarefangirlism:

true story.

biowarefangirlism:

true story.

worldofkeana:

falsi:

this is my favorite gif and i did not expect this

Omfg I love this

worldofkeana:

falsi:

this is my favorite gif and i did not expect this

Omfg I love this

(Source: thesochillnetwork, via ruinedchildhood)

perel:

you got it dude!!!

perel:

you got it dude!!!

(via ruinedchildhood)

(Source: zuzukamukamu, via ruinedchildhood)

theraginazian:

desmond-the-creppy-bear:

srsfunny:

Soft rocks…http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

can you imagine though
you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won

What the fuck is wrong with you…

theraginazian:

desmond-the-creppy-bear:

srsfunny:

Soft rocks…
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

can you imagine though

you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won

What the fuck is wrong with you…

(via ruinedchildhood)

braziliankevindurant:

yungterra:

destiny is one of 2014’s most anticipated first-person shooters

MUST COP

(via unclefather)

notinyourhand:

champagnewithpapi:

"Wanna smell?"

I just laughed so hard I got a headache

notinyourhand:

champagnewithpapi:

"Wanna smell?"

I just laughed so hard I got a headache

(Source: viejospellejos, via dutchster)

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

So last night I got drunk and played Skyrim

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

image

image

imageimage

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

(via unclefather)

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

valvala:

im a man and i LOVE sitting on GIANT BALLSACKS

(Source: 40514294s, via ruinedchildhood)